Don't make out with my wife yet
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
