just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
