Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
