me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Houston, we have a squirter
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
