he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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