what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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