i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
