I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
