whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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