woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
