the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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