i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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