I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
