Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
