my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
