I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
