Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
honey bunches of taint.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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