So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
