real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
