i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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