he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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