well you can't waste a boner
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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