i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He felt like a one man threesome
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
