Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
