do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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