The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
