so explain again why im purple
no
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
