just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
