whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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