I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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