Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
