I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
