just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
