Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize