Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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