So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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