hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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