He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!