how can u be prego again
I puked a lego.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?