ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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