We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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