would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
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I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
try to milk me bitch
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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