I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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