I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
