just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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