A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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