The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
