she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
