Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
