accomplished twins. life is a go
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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