you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
