so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
