how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
