I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I look better un-naked...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
