no one should ever give us hovercrafts
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
