I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
