my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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