I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
