hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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