Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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