dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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