Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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