Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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